You've worked with a client for some time. You perceive they are happy with your work. And naturally, you're expecting them to refer business to you and send you new client referrals. Yet the reality is that this person may have certain reservations that he or she has never directly voiced to you (or perhaps subtly hinted about.)

This undertone of Perception vs. Reality is sabotaging your chance to get more referrals and referred business from them. Let me explain.

Positioning, or perception of you, is how the client imagines you versus other choices - namely, your competitors. The fact that their may be a limited supply of your competitors readily available to your client, means the client has limited choices. This can be good for you as short-term retention tool, but it can also sabotage your long-term consistent referral efforts.

For example, let's take a niche such as physicians. Doctors are a busy group. They run hectic practices and hire administrators to oversee their operations. Let's say you are a marketing consultant that helps a doctor increase his or her referred patients. Your expertise is referral marketing.

A doctor may know other professionals, true. But they probably don't know very many who are honed at practice management and referral generation. This reduces their supply of marketing consultant "relationships." While this is an advantage to you as the consultant (limited supply of competitors) it can seriously hurt your relationship. Why?

Human nature being what it is, means worry, concerns and angst will eventually creep in, silently reminding the physician, "You could be getting more referred patients, and there must be someone else you can work with who is good at referral strategies."

The problem is relational-disconnect begins to form. This hurts opportunities for word-of-mouth introductions.

For whatever reason during the time you have worked together, the doctor's perception has now become that you are not as talented as he or she once believed. They may start to imagine and perceive even more: That you are preoccupied. That you've become too busy. That you really aren't as responsive as you once were. And those perceptions - false as they may be to you - continue to grow and grow into accepted reality of the doctor.

The truth is that, we as people, in our distracted, hectic lives, won't always stop to "fact-check" ourselves and our misguided perceptions - to see if they are indeed real. Much like the Doctor, in my example.

To improve you referrals, word-of-mouth marketing and referred business, make sure people you are working with have opportunities to check their perceptions of you versus the reality of the situation. One of the easiest ways of encouraging this is via honest open communication that encourages complaints and objections.

Try saying, "Mr. Client, I've enjoyed our relationship. I'd like you to refer others to me. But before we discuss that, I'd like you to be perfectly candid with me: What have I been doing that has bothered you?"

The comments you hear will go a long way to helping you open genuine communication. They will also impact your chances to get more referrals..

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Referral generating activity from many people often comes from a flaccid, passive role. They sit their and expect word of mouth and customer referrals to magically appear.

No matter their professions, their expectations of referrals are strangely different than the referral results they're getting. And when they finally have the chops to admit it, naturally their frustration over their referral results surfaces.

So what's really going on here with their referrals?

Well under the surface I can tell you that referral frustration (from lack of being active with referral generating activities) is rooted in a mindset. And it's a bad one. It's not grounded on intentions of furthering "progress-based" impressions with the other person.

What do I mean by this?
I mean business interaction involves influencing others. Whether it's direct, indirect, intentionally, or in a passive fashion, that's not the issue. The issue is this: building relationships based on interactions and impressions is at the core. The culmination of success is a "trust-bond" that is formed, to which others become introduced and referred to you.

But you've got to start somewhere. And it starts in a way that means getting to know what others mean to help them advance and progress. When you get to know others, the opportunity for them know you, and your work, is forced to the surface.

However, generating consistent referral flow, or a referral system from that process, takes time. It is a relationship formed on the promise of making progress together--sometime in the future. And that patience is a difficult pill to swallow. You can summarize it as follows:

1. What you know about me;
2. Who you currently know, right now; and,
3. How you creatively use that knowledge to share experiences with others.

If your referrals suck, it's probably because you are not providing progress to others and their lives. Because when you do, they can't help but open their mouths and tell others about you.

It's an approach that is rooted in helping the other person advance and progress based on their needs, NOT your own. And if your referrals do suck now, I'll bet that you've got the equation backwards. Remember, people trust people who bring progress into their lives.

You can do this simply as follows:

1. Genuinely care about the other person's business success.
2. Offer value to them willingly, and often times unexpectedly
3. Allow these benefits to shine so they recognize they will gain much by being associated with you and in an active relationship.

Go for it!.

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